A year ago, I woke up one morning in deep thought, asking God “what is that burdens the heart of your people and how can I be of assistance,” and shortly afterwards I was lead to the scripture Matthew 7:7-8.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened”
So, I began writing, and rereading my previous journal entries and just moments later it dawned on me; I was going to be a blessing to others and others were going to be blessing to me.
Now, before I dive any deeper in one of my many testimonies, please note that the vision is for an appointed time and faith is not by sight but by believing in the word of God. Also, I’m praying for those who are bold enough to ask God to search their hearts and give according to His will, I pray for your strength and your hands to receive.
A little over a year ago, I told the Lord that my commute from Gwinnett County was too far and I no longer wanted to live in the very house I bought a year ago. I knew the house was a blessing because I asked for it, bought it below market, I was able to furnish it with Ashley Furniture's finest (the stuff in the front of the store that neveeerrr goes on sale) and I was the only person in my family to own a thing (at the time). However, I gave all the glory to God for the house and the stuff in it yet the itch to live elsewhere was ever present. So, I began thinking of all the places I had lived and states I previously visited, and I got nothing! I didn’t want to live in Cobb Co because mom said, “the cops is reckless, and you can Count on Being Busted,” I knew what mom was talking about, but I wasn’t sure as to why she thought my behavior would cause the cops to come after me. Welp, Cobb was out and so was Gwinnett. The South side of Atlanta wasn’t an option and neither was the city, so I set my sights on Dunwoody, Ga (the burbs with a city feel). Not only did I want to live in Dunwoody Ga, I wanted to be ridiculously close to Perimeter Mall and all the shops. I began praying and asking the Lord for provision and grace. I left it at that.
Five months later, I was still in my house, newly underemployed and asking God “Where are you”? Everything was falling apart, I despised my job, the pay was terrible, and I had too much pride to ask for help. Shortly afterwards, I began to fall behind on my mortgage, commuting became an anxiety trigger, and chateau Sara J was disintegrating (major pipe in the house busted, please excuse my dramatics). I was OVER IT!! After filling a claim, having adjusters all up in my personal space, battling traffic and my own personal feelings about this hot mess of a situation, drinking water and squeezing a balanced mean in I finally heard the lord say, “Let Go.” I was driving when I heard this, so I knew the Lord wasn’t talking about the wheel, so I called my good friend and amazing realtor and boldly declared that I was selling my home.
The following day the photographer (who is also my good friend) showed up, cased the place as if Barrack and his people were coming and prepared my home for the next buyer. I was pleased to hear that the following day held much promise, by nightfall we had nine offers. Clearly, I was overjoyed yet sad because that home was my first home, nevertheless I wanted my peace above all things. In just three days, we accepted an offer, worked through their contingencies and solidified the deal. Y'all, I was moving on up but before up, down.
On June 8, I sat at the closing table mad, sad, nervous and free. I was mad because I couldn’t afford to keep my house, I was sad because deep down I knew selling meant I no longer could say I was a “home owner” as if I was being robbed of an amazing accomplishment (and coming from I come from you want to be sure to wrap yourself in titles, achievements and degrees) I was nervous because I wasn’t going to be able to hid behind 1600 sq ft of home, yet I was free and didn’t even know it. I signed the many documents, declined the pictures with my realtor, walked to my car and drove an hour to work. I was home-less, pride-less, financially struggling, and (13.00 an hour at 27 hours a week) holding onto the last most consistent thing in my life; writing.
Little did I know selling my home and giving up the things that I couldn’t hold onto or take with me would be a blessing and not a burden. When I announced that I was selling my home I felt like a failure, as if people didn’t buy and sell homes every day. For me, it was a BIG DEAL, we didn’t always have a home and I swore to myself that I would never be homeless, and there I was…. Home-less, Again!
And on this day, I learned the real meaning of free hands, when your hands are weighted with the things you have, you can’t grab hold of anything else but when you open your hands you can grab anything, but you can also loss anything too. The sale of my home opened the door for me to be exactly where I desired to be, remember “ask and you shall receive” and “faith is NOT by sight, but by believing the word of God”. I believed the prayer I prayed a year ago regarding my desire to live in Dunwoody, and I had just enough faith to not allow the distraction of loss take me down the quitting path. I now live in Dunwoody Ga, right across the street from the mall and all the shops. I asked, and I surely received, but if I had given up the moment the journey got tough, I wouldn’t be writing from a place of praise.
Just know, when we ask we shall receive, and that goes both ways. If you’re asking for good things, you will receive it and when you ask for bad things, well you will receive that too. Just know, there isn’t anything that you can ask for that is too hard for God but when you ask you must be willing to forget what you think it should look like. Too many times we ask for things and abort the mission because the journey “looks” different from what we expected. DON’T QUIT!
Remember, whenever you "increase your ask" your increasing tension, conflict and offense. Anything worth having requires faith, long suffering and sacrifice. Be careful what you ask for because you WILL get it.
Tis’ the season for room making and receiving!
Sara J.
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