Cuffin’ Season Or Whateva’

In lieu of snuggies, heated blankets and newly released shows on Netflix the weather has gotten the best of us once again and cuffin’ season is in full swing. Of course, I don’t participate because I am only interested half of the time and turns out, that’s not enough time for the high maintenance brotha’s that I have encountered but I did take a leap of faith in the online dating sector. DISCLAIMER: There are people who have happily found their knight and shining armor or their wife to be, therefore I am not bashing it as a tool. I am only speaking from this experimental perspective. I hope you enjoy

Here’s the stitch: Me and a few girl friends of mine were sitting a dinner chatting about the decrease in quality of men and the increase of “fun boys”. (I’ll explain later, I promise) We also decided that the good men were either already in bad relationships looking for a way out, married or on their way down the isle. Now, this was a tough pill to swallow over scallops and rice, but we figured the remaining population of men had to be somewhere. And that somewhere was the internet, yes that day we all decided to online date. We were willing to give it a try, I mean why not?!?!

Here’s the FIVE Things you Need to Know When Online Dating:

1.       Who are YOU?

Turns out these app developers have had enough of our catfish complaints, if you are willing to online date you must be willing to disclose who you REALLY are. Meaning, you must be willing to give access to your Facebook or Email. Sounds simple, but for all three participates (including me) were not comfortable disclosing every little thing on the app. IDK, but let’s throw the word shame in the mix and assume it’s understood. Turns out, all three participants felt shameful having to result to online dating instead of organically meeting a person in a natural setting.

2.       Making the Bio

Since this was an experiment in a semi-controlled setting, the bio was pretty simple. Each participant only inputted the required information, nothing more nothing less. Based on my research, the bio is the money that fills the bag, but IF you are not willing to spill it all, just know you might be coming up short!

3.       It’s a PHOTOSHOOT

Soooooo… I am a semi lover of a good selfie although I rarely post it but there was something about soliciting a photo with the intent to be found by a mate. This data is already skewed despite everyone’s verbal agreement at the dinner table, the confusion laid perfectly in the middle of picture selection and facial anonymity. Of course, all three participants (including myself) chose three “not so familiar” pictures, lest we blow our cover.

4.       Swipe Left Or Right

Here’s where things get murky… Each participant was on their own app, participant one was on “Soul Swipe”. Participant two was on “Bumble” and I was on “Coffee meets bagel.” Of the many sites out here, these were the top three free and easy navigation dating sites. Of course, Hinge and Tinder was an option but I (the experimenter) wanted equal representation and quality (no pun).

5.       The Results Are In!

Participant 1: Soul Swipe

While the participant verbally agreed to leverage her options on the internet, she was nervous and very hesitant. Although each participant was only required to spend an hour out the day to swipe based on interest, she still encountered two people she knew and one of them was her friend. (I can only imagine what was said) Despite being a HOTTIE on the scene, unfortunately she had no connections but of course a guy wanted to connect with her in search of a third-party interest for him and his girlfriend (jus messyyy). Regardless of the overly honest candidates on the internet, participant one is more open to the idea of online dating but not a fan of the “Soul Swipe” app itself. Nevertheless, she will not be referring that dating site to any of her friends.

                                              

Participant 2: Bumble

While the participant verbally agreed to create a profile, she felt very awkward! While swiping left and right, she never stumbled upon any she knew (thankfully). Despite being a graduate student, super cute and welcoming, she too did not have any connections. One of the most interesting lines she was pitched was “Not looking for much here but a good time” (of course). Another alarming thing she noticed was a lot of male profile pictures had females in them. Note for the brothas, posting pictures with woman on a dating site might not be the best look for the “swipee”. Even with the interesting comments and terrible profile pictures, she does not feel confident on the platform and will not be referring any of her friends.

Participant 3: Coffee meets Bagel

CHIILLLLLEEEEEE…. Listen, Instagram is enough for me but since it was my brilliant idea and I verbally consented to the online dating, my results are as follows. Since I was only required to spend an hour on the site, I did not encounter anyone that I personally knew (praise Him). I made a few connections, but that was because I skewed the data with hopes to share something spicy with my readers. I only received one message, the guy asked, “Are you down for friends with benefits, if so can we talk about it?” I chuckled, I inquired if he was serious and he said “yes”.  I didn’t want to blow my cover, but I wasn’t going to stand for that type of foolery in my inbox and besides, who did he think he was trying to handle sexual encounters via phone. TUH! Nevertheless, I told him that I was a writer looking for GREAT content and he won a front pager on my blog. Although I was kidding, let that be a lesson to everyone without couth. I did not make any official connections and I do not foresee me recommending online dating in the near future to any of my friends (chillleeee we too much) but I do feel more comfortable with the concept.

                                                       

So, what does this mean for the terrific trio, well it means none of us got a bae nor got cuffed. We are officially beyond the application deadlines for cuffin’ and we have been waitlisted for the upcoming fall/winter. No sweat, we are not tripping because we will be enrolling by way of early admissions for ALL SUMMA 19. Be on the lookout, cause its going down. *Cues Young Joc

Until Next Time,

Sara J.